THE SHIRT OFF MY BACK

I was not surprised that the teenage girl sat by the piano chatting with me while I worked on it. Teens usually liked to be around me, and being the youth leader at my church, I was accustomed to interacting with them. Besides, I was the cool guy. A genuine professional musician, with a pony tail. Or, was it my teased out perm phase? (Yes,I had hair once.) Also,since this girl was the piano player, she often coaxed me into showing her some new jazz scale, as her teacher disapproved of anything not classical. I had tuned her piano ever since she started lessons and over the years had taught her many keyboard gymnastics that she enjoyed impressing her friends with. The last thing I expected her to ask me was where she could get a flannel shirt like the one I was wearing. Of course, she knew where to buy a normal sized shirt, but, not where to get a huge 4 XL like mine. It seems the fad among teen girls that year was to wear the biggest flannel shirts they could get their hands on like a jacket. I started to explain that the shirt had to be mail ordered from a big men's speciality catalog, and, since it was a niche market, you had to pay big bucks. Then, came an inspiration! "You know what hon," I said. "This is my last job tonight. I can drive home in my undershirt. It's all yours." How's that for value added customer service? She's a mom now with teens of her own. I still tune her piano. She often tells her kids, "Mister Aaron once gave me the shirt off his back." As I write this the fad with teens is over sized baggy pants. I hope no one asks.

CUDDLY DUDLEY

Dudley Moore is remembered by most people as a comedic actor, but, I revere him as a talented pianist and composer. Born in England, he attended Oxford university on an organ scholarship and went on to become an accomplished jazz pianist. He fronted his own trio for many years while developing his skills as a composer. He wrote many original works as well as new arrangements for existing standards. He also scored a number of films. He often played the piano in his movies. In my opinion, his music career was eclipsed by his more lucrative profession as an actor. I estimate he was married about four times, so perhaps, there was a need for cash flow.

His "Cuddly Dudley" nickname came from the fact that, despite his short stature (about 5'3"), many females found him irresistible. Not only was he once married to Tuesday Weld, but, dated beautiful women such as Susan Anton. He was noted for his charm and wit.

New Jersey was Dudley's residence of choice, and, when he died in 2002 of Progressive Supra Nuclear, a brain disorder, he was buried near his long time home in Plainfield. He was about 66 years old. Although not quite the train nut I am, he had an interest in railroading due to the fact that his father was a railway electrician. Trains were the subject we usually discussed. Model trains were often used in his movies which, presumably, gave him something to play with during lulls in filming.

We met in the 1980's. He was the house guest of piano tuning clients of mine in Cherry Hill, N.J. These folks had an entry level grand piano, purchased more as a piece of furnature, than as an instrument. Were it a car, it would be one of those low priced sub compacts you buy for your kid to drive at college. However, my clients did have me service the piano regularly. When Moore chanced to play it, he was surprised at how good it sounded. He reasoned that if I could make a piano like that sound so good, I would do a marvelous job on the quality instruments he played. He asked his hosts for my number.

CANINE PROTOCOL

About forty years ago,I was tuning a piano in the sitting room of a private country club on Philadelphia's posh "Main Line" when I heard the distinct sound of a pack of hounds. It was the middle of summer, much too hot for fox hunting. I went to the window and observed a jack rabbit being chased by a large pack of beagle dogs, who were being pursued by about a dozen people on foot wearing clothing similar to that which is worn for fox hunting, but, green in color, rather than red. I recalled seeing something similar when, as a youngster, my grandparents took me to Wales to visit some of our relatives. I recalled the activity was called beagleing. A rabbit is not as fast as a fox, and a beagle is not as fast as a fox hound, so, you can run on foot behind the pack. Some time later the beagle chasers came in for afternoon tea and an elderly gent plopped himself in a chair next to the piano. He was gasping for breath as the sweat rolled down his face and neck and disappeared into the collar of his heavy woolen jacket. When he had regained his composure I spoke, "Pardon me sir, I understand the sport of beagleing, but, not the clothing. Since it's summer, why not just wear tennis outfits? It would be so much cooler." He glared at me in disbelief, sizing me up for the peasant that I am, and stated in a disparaging tone of voice, "After all, young man, one owes it to the hounds." Thereafter, if any of our dogs needed some expensive pet accessory, or, if we were handed a large veterinary bill, I would turn to my wife and say, "well my dear, one owes it to the hounds."

HAIL TO THE CHIEF

FACT TO KNOW: When President Clinton was in the midst of his scandals, someone leveled the accusation that, while he was a governor, he used state police officers to find him women to have liaisons with. I don't recall if this charge was ever proved.

THE STORY: It would surprise many to learn that New Jersey has a number of Indian tribes, and, that many tribal members play the piano. Some major in music at college. One day I was on my way to the home of a tribal Chief to tune his piano, when, I happened to hear on the car radio that a law had been passed decreeing that all Indian Chiefs were to be accorded the same privileges as state governors. When I arrived I commented, "Well Chief, I understand you are to be honored just like a governor." The elderly Chief, usually a man of few words, smiled and said, "True, and even as we speak, I have state troopers out looking for women for me."

BLOG NUMBER 19

Mp3 DOWNLOAD: The Drug Dealer's Cat.

Over the past half century I have written a lot of music. A lot of it was published. A lot was recorded by various artists. I earned membership in ASCAP (American Society Of Composers, Authors, and Publishers) and made a bit of money to boot, but, piano tuning and repair has always been my first love. In my younger days I worked for two major record companies almost full time, and, toured with some important artists. During that tenure I learned to produce recording sessions. Today, I often enjoy recording in my home studio. I thought I would share some of my music with my blog readers from time to time. Here is the first offering:

This is a soft jazz piece that I wrote in the late 90's. On the recording I play piano, synthesiser, bass, and drums via studio magic. Like most jazz compositions it goes on forever. Well actually, a bit under seven minutes. I was looking for a catchy title, hence, The Drug Dealer's Cat.

The title is based on a real drug dealer's cat named Pounce. A drug dealer rented a house in my upscale neighborhood in order to sell pharmaceuticals to the affluent kids who attend our local high school. Whenever he opened his door to serve his clients his cat, Pounce, would slip out and usually wind up on my front porch paying a visit to my two cats. Eventually the drug dealer would come by and collect Pounce. The dealer was actually a rather nice guy, given his profession. Like most dealers, he did not use drugs himself and his wife and children seemed well cared for. Our local police made no attempt to arrest him. Once they became aware of him, they simply started parking a police car in front of his house day and night. Of course, this caused his clients to stay away. After a few weeks the drug dealer moved. My wife and I still miss Pounce the cat.

TO GET YOUR FREE MP3 DOWNLOAD E-MAIL rockpresspublishing@comcast.net AND PUT DRUG DEALER'S CAT IN THE SUBJECT LINE. YOU WILL BE E-MAILED BACK AN MP3 FILE. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR SOME OF MY GOSPEL COMPOSITIONS, WHICH I WROTE, ARRANGED, AND, PLAYED PIANO ON, GOOGLE GOSPEL RECORDING ARTIST JANIE CHRISTINA. TWO SONGS, GOD DIDN'T SEND ME HERE TO LOOSE, AND GRACE, ARE ALSO AVAILABLE AS RING TONES.

DIAMONDS ON THE SOLES OF HER SHOES

In the mid 1980's Paul Simon released a song called DIAMONDS ON THE SOLES OF HER SHOES on his award winning GRACELAND album. This concept is not as fictional as it sounds. One only has to travel in South Africa to witness poor people using diamonds for all types of ordinary purposes from shoe spikes to electrical insulators. Diamonds are not that hard to find, but, they are nearly impossible to export or sell, unless, you are one of the companies that make up the DE BEERS cartel. Diamonds were discovered in South Africa in the 1890's. By around 1907 the mine operators, like DE BEERS, realized that the only way to keep the precious gems value high, was to limit the production and distribution. Diamonds are thus regulated to this day. Hence they retain their value. On this fact begins my story:

There was a couple who fled Vietnam during the fall of Saigon in 1975. They ended up in Marlton NJ in a small one bedroom apartment and eventually birthed a daughter. When the girl grew older, they bought a used piano and started her on lessons. They called me to tune the piano. I serviced the piano for them several times a year and we became friends. The husband, who had been in finance in Vietnam, had taken an entry level job with a local bank and quickly rose to a high executive position. The little apartment was replaced with a mansion in Voorhees, and, the used piano with a concert grand that cost over $125,000.00. The daughter wound up as a student at the University Of Pennsylvania and there met her future husband.

One evening I arrived to tune the piano as the daughter was pulling out of the driveway. She stopped her car and called me over, waving her hand out the window to show off a diamond ring. Look! Look mister Aaron! I'm engaged! When I entered the house I immediately congratulated the parents. The mother smiled proudly. The father frowned and turned his head away. "Something wrong," I inquired? "The diamond he gave her is so small," he scoffed, "it's an insult." I told him, from my own observations, young people did not value jewelry in the same way that older generations did, and, that since his future son-in-law was a medical student, I was sure there would be bigger gems in his daughter's future. I also mentioned that his daughter seemed more than happy with her ring. He said, "You do not understand old friend. My wife and I had to bribe our way to Saigon using our diamond jewelry. Our rings got us seats on one of the last helicopters out of Vietnam. That ring that boy gave my daughter wouldn't get them bus fare to Camden!"
I explained that most people don't generally view their jewelry as a ticket to freedom. His daughter was born in America and raised as an American. She does not expect to have to flee on a moments notice. This explanation brought a smile to his face. "I understand now,old friend. I trust what you say." Incidentally, I now tune the daughter's piano. She, and her husband, just celebrated their tenth anniversary. Her husband bought her large diamond ear rings.

THE BIG ROUNDUP

The Border Collie, according to the American Kennel Club, is arguably one of the most intelligent dog breeds. Some animals manage to learn hundreds of commands and act on them reliably. Also known as Scotch Sheep Dogs, their primary function is to herd sheep, or other animals, into a group and then escort them into a corral. I have actually seen Border Collies herd ferocious bulls back into their chutes at rodeos. Not bad for a 35 to 40 pound dog. The dogs usually work in pairs, and, in addition to simply chasing and barking at the targeted animals, they are often able to stare an uncooperative animal into submission. This maneuver is usually referred to as "putting the eye on them." My late wife Lois "put the eye" on the children and myself many a time.

I have a customer who has a home on about three acres of land out in the country. A busy highway boarders the front of the property and a swift flowing stream runs across the back. This busy mom depends on two Border Collies to keep her three youngsters safely within the perimeters of the yard, and, to keep any strangers who might wander by away from the children. One afternoon I was tuning her piano when a number of other moms arrived with their kids in tow for a play date. The kids were left to their own devices in the yard while the moms gathered in the kitchen for pastries and gossip. All of a sudden those of us in the house could hear the children screaming and crying. The moms, and myself, all bolted out into the yard thinking someone had been injured. We found the nine children, ranging in age from toddler to preteen, seated back to back in a tight circle with the collies pacing around them like it was a roundup for a herd of sheep. What caused the dogs to take action is up for speculation. Maybe the kids were playing to rough with each other, or, teasing the dogs, or possibly, were wandering too close to the highway or stream. Whatever happened, the Border Collies had the situation well in hand.

If this story makes you think that a Border Collie might make a great pet I urge you to do a lot or research before choosing this breed. They are smart, energetic, and love to work. Out of boredom they have been known to chew holes right thru walls, or, dig holes outdoors deep enough to install a swimming pool. Due to their intelligence level they sometimes become neurotic if not provided with constant mental stimulation.