In my years as a piano technician and musician I've spent a lot of time driving. In an average work day about half the time is spent behind the wheel. When I chance to see an interesting road sign or billboard I make a note of it. Following are some of my favorites:
Sign at a restaurant entrance: REST ROOM FOR PATRONS ONLY. HOSTESS WILL SEAT YOU.
Posted at a convent parking area: NO PARKING ANY TIME. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW. SISTERS OF MERCY.
Sign for an auto repair shop: SHAFTOS GARAGE.
Sign for the name of a bar: HE'S NOT HERE.
Posted on a fast food drive thru window: BRAILLE MENU AVAILABLE.
Displayed on the rear of a delivery truck: DRIVER HAS NO CASH, HE'S MARRIED.
Sign on a beauty salon: CURL UP AND DYE.
A billboard message: THIS SUNDAY BEFORE THE GAME LET'S MEET AT MY HOUSE. GOD.
Sign on the office of a septic tank pumping company: MY WIFE KEEPS HER NOSE OUT OF MY BUSINESS.
Sign at the gate of a Victorian mansion: TRESPASSERS WILL DISAPPEAR WITHOUT A TRACE.
Warning sign: HOSPITAL ZONE. NO BARKING. Apparently in this town there are people who bark, or, dogs that can read.
Sign on a Church at the sea shore: OUR LIFEGUARD WALKS ON WATER
Some interesting street name signs I've encountered: PENNY LANE. EASY STREET. NO NAME ROAD. SESAME STREET. SHADES OF DEATH ROAD. Google that last one.
